Fifteen year anniversary

So, been awhile since I updated. Cannot believe that fifteen years have passed since I had my ICL surgeries. 

All things considered, nothing much has changed since the surgeries, except for maybe the usual vision changes one experiences once they get into their 40's and 50's. I wear reading glasses for extended smartphone use - note that I said 'wear' and not 'need'. I can read my phone without them but it involves a little squinting if I'm honest. ;) Same for TV watching - I can see the screen fine but I do have TV watching glasses if I really want it sharp. Distance vision still remains great - no need for glasses there. 

Dry eye continues to be a problem but as I've reported previously this was a problem prior to surgery and in fact was one of the main reasons I chose to get my vision corrected. 

Halos continue to be an issue. I think the halo intensity is as strong as it ever was but I've learned to live with them. I am able to drive at night without a problem. The time they bother me the most is in movie theaters. I wear my TV watching glasses for theaters.

So, I guess 'stable' is the best way to describe my vision state. Glad to report it. Happy Anniversary to me. :)

9 year update

At the end of March I marked 9 years since my ICL surgery. For the most part, everything is stable. My vision isn't quite as sharp as it was right after surgery, but the degree to which it has deteriorated is minimal and likely due to the aging process. I have abandoned glasses once again due to the intense burning I experience when I look away from the computer after staring at it for long periods. I have the burning without the glasses, too, but not as much as I do with glasses. I am trying to make it a habit to blink slowly and look away more frequently throughout the workday. Hard habit to get into. Distance vision still seems to be pretty sharp. I still have halos even after 9 years. They don't impact my lifestyle, though, and I gave up on drops years ago. So, basically, nothing major to report on this anniversary. Which is good news, I suppose. :)

ok, yes, glasses

Current state of my eyes

As I was informed when I was considering surgery back in 2008, I knew that it was likely that I'd need reading glasses at some point just like anyone in their mid-40's might.  Up close vision has degraded a little bit - how much is hard to say because the instant you have ICLs inserted your distance vision becomes something totally different.  For the majority of my life up I was used to always bringing things closer to me to see them clearly and 8 years later I still struck by the fact that I now bring things in too close at first and then have to adjust outward for focusing.  I just haven't gotten that exact distance figured out.  Hard habit to break.

Anyway, I do wear computer glasses every day now because I am on the computer for both work and play for too many hours each day.  I wear these same glasses in the movie theater, too.  But I don't need them to drive and I don't usually have to wear them to watch tv, but I do sometimes wear them to watch tv depending on the distance and lighting conditions.

Oddly, the glasses I wear aren't the most recent ones my optometrist prescribed. Since 2008 I've had three sets of glasses made, and the ones I find work best are the first ones he prescribed. The most recent ones are the worst. I've tried explaining to him that the lighting conditions he does his tests in are the worst for the ICL halos, especially in the right eye.

My main eye complaints these days don't have anything to do with ICL.

Dry Eye

The dry eye I had prior to surgery continues to be an issue (and not helped by all the computer work, I know).  

Horizontal Bands

When I look at a website with a dark background, I will see horizontal bands that interfere with my ability to see.  When I tilt my head, those bands tilt, so it's not a problem with the monitor.  I noticed this prior to surgery, so I know it's not ICL related.  My optometrist has never been able to explain this.

Excessive Tearing/Burning

Again, I'm sure this is due to excessive computer use, but I often find that when I have to look away from the computer and focus at a distance closer or farther, one of my eyes will burn and tear very badly.  Both eyes do it, but rarely at the same time.  I'm trying to do better about taking time throughout the day to do little eye exercises to vary focus.  Many years ago (pre-ICL) I actually had to go through some vision therapy because of "loss of binocular vision" that was blamed on the computer use.  The prescribed therapy basically involved me staring at shapes and crossing my eyes at varying degrees.  So much for the "old wives'  tale" of crossing your eyes being bad for you.

Anyway, as far as the ICL's go, I think they're stable.  I don't think I'm 20/20 anymore, but still fairly close in most conditions.  It's probably worse in lower light. No change in halo intensity or frequency.

Glasses or no glasses

I knew when I had my ICL surgeries 7+ years ago that there would probably come a time when I'd need reading glasses, just like anyone else in their 40's.  Sometimes I do feel like I could use some when I've spent way too long on the computer, as my eyes feel the strain and occasionally trying to read the text on my smartphone is difficult (I've since enlarged the font).  I'm a graphic designer so my workday is filled with computer time, and then I'm on my home computer a lot.  Plus, my home office chair is a recliner so it sits farther back from the monitor (great for those Netflix binges).

Since the surgeries I've had 3 different pairs of 'computer glasses' and while they do help improve the clarity of what I see, I can still read the computer just fine without them most of the time.  The main problem I'm having now is that when I do wear the glasses, if I have to look away to a farther distance, or if I take the glasses off, one or both of my eyes burn very intensely.  It's so intense that my eardrum vibrates and my eyes turn bright red as they run with tears.

So now I have once again abandoned the glasses altogether, which has reduced the burning instances to next to never.

I think part of the problem is my optometrist (who is not my ICL surgeon) doesn't understand the impact the halos have on my vision tests when I'm in his dimly lit exam room during those eye tests.  That's the worst lighting situation you can be in when you have a halo problem.  He insisted last time that the right eye "wouldn't pass a driving test", and yet I know in normal daylight driving my right eye is remarkably sharp in its vision and the left eye is pretty close.

6 years later

Well, my six year anniversary since my ICL surgeries came and went, and there's still nothing new to report, so that's good, I guess.  I do find that I'm using the very thin reading glasses my optometrist prescribed after my surgery more often, but only when reading for long periods.  I don't need them at all, most of the time.  Plus, my office chair is a recliner, so most of the time I'm sitting much farther back from the computer than most people would, so I am probably straining them a bit more than necessary.

The only thing notable, really, is that a couple of days ago I had a migraine aura occur, and I haven't had one of those in at least 15 years.  I've got some job stress going on right now, and for me, aura is never accompanied with pain, so after it completed its usual C shape, it was over after about 30 minutes.

I do sometimes have migraines without aura, and they always are painful, but the aura-types are always pain-free.  Just really weird!

I continue to be amazed

I recently went for my annual vision checkup at my optometrist.  Still reading at 20/20.  Pretty amazing for someone in their forties to not need reading glasses. Distance vision, though, is what really impresses me.  As I drive on the interstate and see so sharply at long distances, I still ponder on how novel that is for me.

My eye doctor commented on my adjusting the distance at which I held reading material (backwards) during his checkup. As if that signaled a need for reading glasses on the horizon.  Maybe so, but I pointed out that for my first 30+ years of reading, I had to bring things closer to me to be able to see clearly and I'm still sort of in the habit of bring things close to read, and then adjusting backwards, even 5 years post-ICL.

5 year mark

I hit five years with my ICLs at the beginning of this month, and not much has changed.  Literally.  I still have halos.  I still have YAG hole artifacting.  I still see 20/20.   I am still happy I had my surgery.  And if you are considering ICL surgery, my mantra is still the same:  do your due diligence (research) and be realistic in your expectations.

4 years later...

Tomorrow marks my four year anniversary with ICLs.  Four years later, I'm still 20/20 with no major issues to speak of.  The halo problem persists, but I really don't think about them much any more.  I don't use the anti-halo drops at all these days.  Some nights, the halos are barely there and the next night they'll be worse than ever.  Their impact on my quality of life is minimal.

Now having gone four years without contact lenses or glasses, it's almost like I can't remember what that was like, and how much of a hassle it was.  I love being free of those things!  I love seeing the alarm clock in the middle of the night, even if there is a halo around it. ;)

If you're considering ICL, really think about pros vs cons, and accept that there are likely to be cons.  It's amazing to think about going from total nearsightedness to 20/20 in a couple days' time.  That kind of magic has to have a price with it, and apparently my price was a few halos.  I'm happy to have paid it and enjoy my clear vision.

3 years later

It's been a little over 3 years since I had my ICLs done.  As far as they're concerned, everything is holding steady.  I'm still seeing 20/20, and still impressed by how clear things are outside in the daylight.  The halos, unfortunately, are still holding steady, too.  No change there.  I've accepted them as a necessary evil with my ICL.  I don't use anti-halo drops much anymore.  I just use them in certain situations, like concert halls, dimly-lit restaurants, driving in unfamiliar areas in the dark.  That's about it. I don't use them on a daily basis, as I really don't like how they make my eyes feel and it sort of dries out my sinuses.  But they do the job when necessary.

My biggest problem at the moment continues to be the tear dysfunction problem.  I don't call it 'dry eye' these days, because most of the time my eyes are anything but dry.  They tear like crazy and are really red without some sort of steroid drop.  I assume the tearing is due to my punctal plugs giving my tears nowhere to go.  I don't know what the red is all about.

I went for a new procedure called "meibomian gland probing" (not as painful as it sounds!), that was supposed to free up the meibomian glands in the lids, but it didn't work for me.  So now I plan to have my punctal plugs removed, or at least, a couple of them, to address the tearing.  This will be done by a doctor at my ICL surgeon's office, so hopefully they will have some new ideas on what's causing all this.  I have tears, just not good quality tears.  It's frustrating, to say the least.

status report

So, Daylight Savings Time has ended and with that, the need for anti-halos drops increases.  I'm resisting, though, as, well, frankly I'm sick of squirting stuff in my eye.  The halos are a lesser concern at the moment because for the last year I've been battling an unrelated infection/inflammation that I've just not been able to shake.  It started with severe redness and increased dryness about this time last year - so red that I found myself not looking people in the eye for fear of grossing them out.  I remember thinking on Christmas Day that the whites of my eyes looked like pepperoni - all red, bumpy, etc.  Awful.

I had a follow up appointment scheduled with my ICL doctor, so of course while I was there the redness was discussed.  At first the opthalmologist (not my surgeon) said it was a dry eye flare up (I had dry eye prior to surgery) and she prescribed a couple of things.  Tried that for a few weeks with no results.  Went back, was prescribed something else.  Again, no results.  The prescription given to me at the third visit turned out to be something I was allergic to, so I only used it twice.  At that point, I decided to call my regular optometrist, as the allergic reaction needed immediate attention and getting into my surgeons office last minute is virtually impossible, and by this time I was ready for a second opinion.  My optometrist prescribed something that made the whiteness go away, but every time I tried to taper it off (per my doctor's instruction), the redness came back.  A few months ago, the tearing started.  Copious amounts of tears.  I had to keep tissues on my at all times, I was dabbing at my eyes every few seconds, having to apologize to strangers and tell people that 'no, I'm not crying'.  It was a ridiculous amount of tears, and the redness was creeping back. 

Fortunately, two weeks ago my optometrist gave me a new prescription that is working!  Within two applications, the tearing had stopped and my eyes are white again.  It remains to be seen if this will hold once I start tapering off again.  But so far, so good. 

Anyway, with all the stuff I've been squirting in my eyes this year, anti-halo drops are an afterthought.  I still use them when absolutely necessary, but otherwise I'm just living with the halos.

Let's talk halos

Halos...the big downside of ICL surgery. A necessary evil, I guess, for those of us who really struggled with their vision before surgery. The image above is a classic example of my halo experience at night. Looks relatively harmless in a static photo, but imagine driving down the interstate and all those halos are in motion, they're overlapping and growing, they disappear and reappear. Even the cat eyes on the roadway have halos, and the bright lines on the street glow and waver. Sometimes I find myself focusing on the halos and not on the cars in front of me.



For me, halos are not just a nighttime hassle. This atrium looks bright enough, no? And yet, I have 'halo effects'. I don't see these every day, just sometimes.


This image pretty much speaks for itself. I don't always see the tabs with my halos, but I always see them when I look at this elevator button panel in the parking garage where I work. Never fails.

The drops work most of the time for the halos, thankfully. My pupils are generally slow to react when the light changes on me, so sometimes I have to wait a few minutes before I can tell if they're really doing the job. Our pupils shrink as we age, so hopefully this problem will lessen over time. I just hope I don't have to wait til I'm 70 before finally being haloless.

It's been 2 years...

Not much new to report, which I guess can be a good thing, too. My vision is still holding steady at 20/20, but the halos are holding steady, as well. Now that spring is here, my dependency on the halo drops will go down both because of the longer days and because with warmer weather I'll be spending more time outside and not indoors where the lighting can be dim. So, I'm looking forward to that.

I've mostly ditched the reading glasses. They seemed to make it hard for my eyes to adjust back to normal focus, and since I can read just fine without them, why bother? The only time I wear them is at work in a particular conference room. Something about the distance to the projection screen and the light level in there make them necessary. But that's pretty much the only place I use them at work. I think its the "halo effect" going on in there. The light is somewhat low, and though I may not actually see halos when I look at the projection screen, there's a slight blurring of the edges - not blurring, really, but duplication? That's not the right word, either. It's hard to describe. Anyway, the glasses help with that when its happening.

I'm getting frequent requests for information from others interested in having ICL surgery. I am happy to respond, as I was in search of the same perspective when I was considering surgery. At that time, I knew of one other person who'd had it, and I asked her lots of questions, so I know how the 'not knowing' can be.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to get as much information as you can prior to surgery so that you go into it fully prepared with knowledge of both the benefits and potential consequences. Based on my own experience and the experiences of others with whom I've communicated with who have had ICL surgery, you shouldn't go into it thinking you'll be just like someone who's always had 20/20 vision their whole life, even if you have 20/20 vision after surgery. The risks for retinal detachment that you have as a near-sighted person will still be there. ICL does not change that. Knowing that you have implants in your eyes will be a consideration, so anytime you have accidental impact on your eye (my niece's elbow, for example), you'll have an 'oh no!' moment just before you realize no harm was done. For me, my dry eye syndrome (which I had before surgery) makes my vision a little fuzzy when I first wake up, so I have to remind myself to wait a few minutes after waking before freaking out over nothing.

Wow, for 'nothing new to report', I sure had a lot to say. ;)

It's been 18 months

Went back to the doctor a couple of weeks ago. Still seeing 20/20 (yay!). I do have reading glasses now, however they're not "readers" like most people need. They're to balance out the right eye, which was set for distance vision, with my 'near vision' left eye. Actually, I can read just fine without the glasses, but since I work at a computer all day (and spend too much time at one at night), the glasses just take some of the load off my eyes. I don't wear them all the time--in fact, its been a couple of weeks since I've worn them. I just don't think of it some days. They're the most help when my eyes are already tired.

There's been no improvement with the halos. The drops work great, when they're not used all the time. In the summer time is when they work the best, because then I'm only using them at the movies, in dim restaurants, etc. But as fall approaches and the days are shorter, I'll be using them more often. After a couple of months of daily use, they lose their effectiveness. But then when spring returns and they're used less often, they'll work much better again.

Still having a lot of dry eye problems (I had dry eye prior to surgery). Doctor thinks that may be ocular rosacea, since I have been diagnosed with regular rosacea. Who knew you could have that in the eyes? Not me! Anyway, trying some new prescriptions for the rosacea, so maybe that'll help the dry eye.

It's now been 9 months

I went for a recheck with my surgeon last week and I'm still seeing 20/20. Still having issues with the halos, though. Some nights the anti-halo drops work better than others--I haven't figured out why. Some nights its perfect, most nights its ok, and every now and then its like I didn't even put them in.

But, overall, I'm still happy with the results.

It's been 3 months

I went for my 3-month followup today. For the most part, everything is going just fine. The halos are still a problem, though, when I don't use the drops. But I learned through an ICL Yahoo Group that allergy medicines can dialate your pupils and I've been on allergy meds for months, so I'm going without now for a few days to see if it makes a difference. So far, it does seem to make a small difference in the intensity of the halos, but after 6 days of no allergy meds, I do still have halos. Here's what they look like at night:


But, like I said, the drops that were prescribed do make the halos go away. My surgeon did offer me some hope today that the halos could still diminish over time. He said that it can take up to a year for 'settling' in the eye. Part of the problem, too, is that I have larger-than-usual pupils for my age. Even so, I'm still happy I went through with this procedure.

Post surgery - It's been a month...

So far, so good. I'm done with the post-surgical drops (yippee!) and now continuing in the healing phase. The doctor said it would take at least 3 months to heal. I've had no pain, but a lot of "Is this normal?" moments. Outside, particularly when it's sunny out, the sharpness of my vision is impressive. Perfect. It's weird, though--I still feel like a contact lens wearer. Maybe it's because I've always been very nearsighted and don't know what it's like being without vision problems. My eyes have the sensation of 'artificial lenses'. It's hard to describe. Doesn't hurt, it's not uncomfortable, but when I blink, I sometimes still have that sensation of...something. I don't know. That might go away with the healing process.

My biggest problem post-surgery is halos in low-light situations. Prior to surgery, I had halos when outside at night, but they were tolerable. Mostly wedge-shaped and they were over car head and tail lights. Now, they're completely round, more intense and I even have them indoors. There's a glow around the tv, even if the lights are on in the living room. The worst is when driving. I see them on car head and tail lights, street signs, my dashboard, the cat-eye reflectors on the interstate--everything. They're so intense that, at times, I don't feel safe driving at night, so I've avoided driving at night if possible. If I look directly at a light, the halo will disappear for a few seconds, but the instant my pupil expands in the darkness, the halos reappear.

I mentioned the halos to the doctor the day after the second surgery, and he said they would fluctuate. Maybe they do fluctuate in some people, but not me. They are consistently there whenever the light is low. I've reminded myself that I have a lot of healing to do, and they could still diminish or go away. So I'm not freaking out just yet.

I went for my one-month check to my regular optometrist this week and we talked about halos. I've been given a prescription drop to try. It's intended for glaucoma patients, but what it does is cause the pupil to constrict. I've used it twice and it worked like a charm. No halos! It makes my eye ache a little bit, but not bad. I just use it 30 minutes before I have to drive in the dark. At least now I have an option. I'm going to research driving glasses next. Something just to wear at night.